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In a sense, the stone can be seen as a symbol of the declining Church – old and venerated, but more than a little withered and silly. Its upgrade is associated with an Englishman growing a beard, and neither Englishness nor rapid hair growth have positive connotations within the world of Father Ted (see “Competition Time” and “New Jack City”). As Ted quietly informs Monica, the stone was moved from the (fictional) town of Clonrichert in County Fermanagh because it was doing poor business, so its very presence on the island is a mark of greed. That it lies at the heart of Craggy Island’s economy is dubious honour enough, but that’s not all. Yet there’s always been something not quite right about the stone. As the bishops perform the ritual on the stone, they ask that God “bring healing” to anyone who passes within two and a half to three feet of it (at His discretion). In “Tentacles of Doom”, the stone’s holiness collapses to a rather more specific and unusual form, with Ted suggesting that it is being upgraded because an Englishman who touched it last year grew a beard. One of its miracles is giving Dougal either a “great sense of serenity” or a “great buzz”. In “Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest”, the stone was described as having a “general kind of holiness”. The sense of culmination is reflected in the characters’ behaviour, with Jack learning to discuss religion (after a fashion) and Mrs Doyle declaring the triple bishop visit the more important day of her career. Finally, after numerous episodes building towards the stone, and one actively teasing it, we get to see it for ourselves. This unparalleled level of background gives “Tentacles of Doom” a strange momentousness. Throughout the second series, a new calendar illustrating the redesigned stone is displayed prominently by the priests’ living room window. By the time it finally appears in “Tentacles of Doom”, it’s become a small lump of rock on a stone pillar, presumably to facilitate what Jack does with it later on. Throughout the first series, we can also see a Holy Stone calendar on the wall near the television – it’s never shown clearly, but it appears to depict the stone as a dolmen. It’s treated as the closest thing the island has to a tourist attraction, with Dougal proudly showing off an “I saw the Holy Stone of Clonrichert” souvenir comb. Since this episode was the first written, and features little Craggy Island world-building besides, it seems the Holy Stone idea was one of the earliest textural concepts conceived for the show. They offer to visit the stone with her before she leaves the island, but this plan falls apart with Jack’s apparent death. It was first mentioned aloud in the first series finale, “Grant Unto Him Eternal Rest”, where Ted and Dougal enthusiastically tell Sister Monica that they have seen it 300 times. Looming large over the proceedings is the Holy Stone itself. The following interactions destroy each bishop in a series of mishaps. On the way back from the ceremony, the group diffuses: Ted is left with the weak-hearted Bishop Jordan, Dougal with the doubtful Bishop O’Neill, and Jack with the intense Bishop Facks. Meanwhile, Mrs Doyle is rendered blind after a dog steals her contact lenses. Wanting everone on their bests behaviour, Ted manages to brainwash Jack into learning a few stock phrases. Three bishops visit Craggy Island to upgrade the local Holy Stone of Clonrichert to a Class-Two Relic.
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